About 2 years ago, my friend and I began watching Twin Peaks. The first episode appeared, complete with grizzly murder mystery, and then the holy of holiest things happened - Audrey graced the scene with her multiple pairs of shoes for different occasions. I turned to my friend and said, "This is ME. If any pair of shoes could ever bless my presence - it would be a pair of black and white saddle shoes so that I could trance-dance like Audrey."

Video evidence (0:13) :

Back in December, I visited Toronto, and quite unexpectedly found the shoes of my dreams?

Nothing is complete without my glasses?

I look like one of those old cafeteria ladies who plops a giant heap

of mystery meat on your tray and tells you to keep moving right along.

Granted, I don't have any of her hairy moles [THANK GOD]